Mommyhod

Being a mom is nothing I expected it to be. Just so happy I have my mom to walk, talk, and see me through it. Of course Lucas aka Fred is still mesmerized by his nana, he loves her so much and of course she spoils him rotten!!! I love being a mom. Looking into his and knowing he is my son is an incredible feeling. His baby blue eyes are mesmerising and it feels like he is looking into my soul. Other times are rough the early morning feedings are crazy because he decides he wants to stay up for a little while after eating, so it takes a couple of hours to get him back to sleep. I feel overwhelmed when he cries and there's nothing I can do to help him when I don't know what's wrong with him, or what else I can do after feeding, burping, rocking etc. He was sick this week so it made it all the more stressful because he wanted to be held the WHOLE time, which I love holding him but it gets tiring after so long. But he's better now, and just doing a spoiled hold me cry and pay attention to me and nothing else.
I will be returning to work the second week of October, and although I do want to get out of the house to do something productive I don't want to leave my baby and go back to the job. So I am looking for a daycare, which is really depressing and expensive. His medicaid has finally came in so I don't have to worry about that anymore, just need to find a place closer to the house so that I don't have to drive all the way downtown to the dr. I still have headaches everyday, which stinks but my back doesn't hurt as much which is good. I only have 10lbs to lose to get to pre pregnancy weight. Well its feeding time again...ttfn

Arrival

Lucas Allen Holtz was born August 22, 2011 at 10:03 pm. He weighed 7lbs 6oz and was 20in long. He is such an amazing little boy. I love just watching his facial expressions and watching him sleep. He's my life, and my reason for living. I can't imagine my life without him.

Delivery was really rough. I had a lot of problems, but am finally up and about now and able to take care of the lil man. I can't wait to see what life brings our way.